A Malignant Carcinoma of the Right Hemisphere - HIATUS
by Fae 206
Summary: A slow moving fic focusing on emotional tension. Kuon and Kyoko Hizuri had a happy married life until one day the doctor announces that Kuon has a malignant carcinoma of the right hemisphere.
1. Chapter 1

**AN:** I'm not so much worried about plot in this story (though it is still important) but in creating emotions and doing research on this. Thank you for choosing to read. Length is whatever I feel is best for the chapter.

 **A Malignant Carcinoma of the Right Hemisphere**

 **Chapter One**

It had been raining on his wedding day.

It might be an odd thing to think about but as he glanced over at the raindrops falling into the puddle, Kuon Hizuri thought about that fact. It had been raining on his wedding day. He heard the sound of traffic not too far away from the hospital that he was sitting in. He had been able to book himself an early appointment with the doctor but he hadn't been able to hide it and that was why he had his wife wrapped around his arm. She looked at him, moving up to kiss him on his cheek.

"What are you thinking about?" Kyoko asked with a hum as she cuddled next to him. The two continued to listen to the soft drop of the water outside as the windows had the soft plonks onto them. Fortunately people weren't looking at them in the waiting room. Despite this being for celebrities only, she and Kuon were considered royalty in the entertainment world.

"I'm fine," Kuon replied and Kyoko pressed her forehead to his shoulder, soaking in the warmth of his body.

"Tell me," she whispered, "or you know my imagination is going to get carried away wondering what it is, what it was," she told him and Kuon kissed the top of her head once again. His eyes went to the window as he observed the street below and the trees above. At some point of his life he had wanted to be a bird, soaring over the landscape below and using the sky to travel around. He had been good at jumping – maybe catching and twirling on flagpoles was his specialty – but that wasn't flying.

"I was actually thinking of how unbelievably lucky I was to marry you," Kuon smiled and Kyoko stared out of the window again before humming.

"I was the lucky one," she told him and Kuon wrapped his arms around her even closer, bringing her to his chest. He flinched as he felt a sharp pinch in his head. He couldn't keep Kyoko from seeing it. She pulled away from him so that she could kneel on her chair and check his forehead. He was burning up. She hated when he tried to hide his pain. This was Kuon, pain shouldn't be a concern.

Kuon kept looking in front of him, he felt nauseous and had been throwing up for a number of days. He hadn't wanted to throw up here though, not in public. He had also been having a little numbness in his body but that usually came from overworking himself, he was used to it. The blurred vision, that must have been brought about from not having enough sleep.

In fact, this was the second time in the past two weeks that he was coming for an early morning appointment but this was to run even more tests. That was never a good sign when you just went in for a checkup and that was why Kyoko was holding onto him as if her life depended on it.

The raindrops were echoing the ticking of the clock on the wall as the appointment drew closer.

"You're feeling sick again," Kyoko whispered as she put her head on his shoulder. Kyoko Hizuri was now twenty-one-years-old and she was the wife to someone who was in his mid-twenties. They had married young but they had also found each other young. In a few weeks they would be celebrating their one year wedding anniversary. Kyoko had long chestnut hair that flowed down her back and her body had become more refined, more mature. She now had to find ways of _keeping_ herself from looking like that girl Kijima had once turned her into. She had loyalty towards Kuon and Kuon loved her regardless of how beautiful she had become.

"I'm fine," he argued as he shook his head and closed his eyes. The light was too strong. The light was too strong. The world was too strong. Had the world always been this way or was it when you slowed down and took time to think that the flow of the world changed. There was a light breeze in the room as if a window had been left open.

Kyoko closed her eyes and she heard Kuon humming to her, it was one of her favorite songs and one that they had danced to at their wedding. 'A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes'. She hadn't expected him to choose that song for her, it was probably her favorite song of all time and he had told her that he wanted to surprise her. She had been expecting something like the song that Katsuki played in Dark Moon or one of the songs from an event that they had attended but he had been there wearing a white suit with that gorgeous blond hair and emerald eyes waiting to spin her and dance with her as if they were in an elegant love story.

This life with Kuon was an elegant love song.

"I love you," Kyoko whispered as she pressed kisses to his neck, she let her head rest on his shoulder. "The doctors, the test…" she began but Kuon kept humming, he held her hand and brought it to his lips before telling her.

"No matter how your heart is beating, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true." Kuon told her and Kyoko smiled. She couldn't believe that she had ever been so lucky to find such a fairy prince. She had found a friend, someone to laugh with and who could understand her even if everyone else found her weird. She had found a love that meant the world to her. She had found both of these in Kuon, her fairy prince Corn. Nothing could break the fragile world that a fairytale lives in.

As Kyoko tried to steady herself, she heard heavy steps from someone approaching them.

"Hizuri-san, before we begin the tests, I need for you to meet with me in my office," the doctor said and Kuon turned to Kyoko before nodding. He stood and Kyoko flinched as he left her side. She could see how the shadow of the doctor rested against the wall. She felt her stomach twist, start tying itself up in knots and she was terrified of what might happen were Kuon to leave her. If she couldn't see him. If she couldn't physically touch him and know that he was okay, she might break. It might force her to break.

"It'll be okay," Kuon smiled softly in an attempt to comfort her and Kyoko nodded slowly. She turned to the doctor who was attempting to remain neutral. For anyone in the medical health field to have that look it always made the sky turn more gray than blue and for the temperature of any room to shift into the numbers below freezing. This was the look that said that something was bad. Something had gone wrong. Something dark and cold and hateful was about to attack.

"Would she be allowed to come during the talk?" Kuon asked and Kyoko looked up at the doctor nervously who nodded and led the way to the office. He opened the door for the two of them and then gestured for the two of them to sit down.

"It'll be okay," Kuon attempted to tell Kyoko again, "So, is it an operation?" he asked and Kyoko opened her mouth to protest but the words wouldn't come out. There was nothing small about an operation. If some part of your body wasn't working well enough that you had to cut the body open and tamper with it in order to make it well again then it wasn't a small problem. Did he _have_ to have an operation.

"It's more than that," the doctor said slowly and the wedded couple turned to one another. This was something that involved both of them and if it was more than an operation it didn't seem to be a small thing and they were trying to both concentrate on the song, the rain, the fact that they were married but the clock on the wall didn't sound as cheery in this room, it was a drum that was beating out the precious moments left to live.

"Hizuri-san, I need to run some more tests but from the tests and examinations that have already been performed," he said and Kuon took a shaky breath in.

"Hizuri-san, you have a malignant carcinoma of the right hemisphere," the doctor said and Kuon sat back in shock. His eyes widening as he took that in and he looked ahead of him in complete shock whilst Kyoko was thinking about the words. She knew what the doctor was referring to, she might have had the most amazing grades in high school but she knew enough that basic medical words made sense. What didn't make sense was -

"Otherwise known as a brain tumor."


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** Again the length is one scene, usually I have two or three scenes in my chapters but I want to do one scene for the chapters. This chapter in particular, is much shorter than that I usually write.

 **Chapter Two**

Brain tumor. He had a brain tumor. Those words felt like they were piercing their way into Kuon's head and he struggled to digest them. The pain in his chest burned as he was overcome by the knowledge that he would lose himself, he would lose this life that meant everything to him, he would lose Kyoko. Suddenly the rain and the weather wasn't such a comforting thing to him. There was such pain in the wind as it blew the leaves and shook the trees. Nothing in life was stable. Life had such fragility and he felt that his life was like a vase that somebody had pushed over the edge of a side table.

He didn't want to show his fear to the woman that he loves. She was always so strong despite people wanting to tear her down and he wanted to be her hero. He didn't want to see the way that her eyes would glaze other as they both realized that the end would come sooner than either of them had planned. He had to keep himself together for her sake although he felt that he had been broken into pieces and all of those pieces were glued together but there were still cracks so he could never be of the same use.

However, what he had to do now was absolutely chilling to him. He had to inform his father of what had happened. Kuon struggled to keep even breaths before deciding that he had to rip off the BandAid and try not to pick at the scab that had manifested underneath. He slowly breathed in and out before calling his dad.

Right now he was feeling that the wind was about to tear his body apart and that the rain would completely soak him and keep him wet and unable to see anything clearly again. He waited for the ringing, each time it was painful and his heart tightened in his chest. His father need to know. It wasn't fair for him to not know.

"Hello, Kuu speaking," the man said cheerfully and Kuon took a weak breath in.

"Dad, I need to talk to you, is it a good time?" he asked and Kuu froze. Usually Kuon would try to start by asking how he was and talking about their days but this was of greater importance and the weight in Kuon's voice proved that.

"Now's a good time," Kuu said before laughing weakly, "Should I be sitting down for this?" he asked.

"Probably," Kuon said in a slightly hollow voice and this concerned Kuu greatly, he quickly grabbed a seat and Kuon closed his eyes. The truth had to come out. Even though it could never be put back in, he had to tell his father. He had to tell his father.

"I've been diagnosed," Kuon said as he balanced his words. He knew that there would be a big reaction from his father. "With brain cancer."

There was silence. A clock ticked in the background, the minute hand changing twice before anyone said anything.

"You're joking, right?" Kuu asked desperately, clutching at hope as if they were straws that had come raining down from a high shelf in the kitchen where they were balanced incorrectly.

"I wish I was joking," Kuon replied as he noted his father's tone of voice. He was as broken as Kuon was and Kuon hated the fact that he had brought this pain to the fan he idolized, that his body hadn't been stronger.

"I can come over," Kuu offered as he took a look at the calendar on the wall, "I just need two days and I can come over," he stated and Kuon shook his head.

"Dad, you don't have to do that," Kuon said wanting to make sure that his illness didn't inconvenience his father but Kuu could be heard with his voice getting unintentionally louder due to all the shock involved.

"I _want_ to come over," he stressed and Kuon stayed silent.

Finally, there was one word that Kuon wanted to say to his dad,

"Thank you."

 **End of Chapter Two**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

 **Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter One**

Erza, H-Nala, Kaname671, Paulagato


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

The striking of the clock hands was louder than before. They seemed to mirror the thumping of a human heart, the strange natural thumping of the circulation of blood needed for survival. Unless there was damage done to that clock, it had the potential to have had that pounding much longer than he had been alive and there was the potential that when his own heart stopped, the old clock would keep on ticking.

That was something respectable about the president. Everything was tangible and you could touch them, you couldn't touch much in the digital age, the separation between those things and yourself meant that you were always separated from some parts of the world. There were always so many parts unaccessible to you. That was the future. Especially Kuon's future.

The president respected dating games and simulations. The president felt that these games were able to mirror a human condition of how life should be, how love should be. Kuon doubted that many of the heroic characters that the president rooted for had this kind of cancer, this type of body lacking.

"So," the president said, his fingers reaching for a cigar but then he pushed it away from him and shut the lid. He shook his head, his eyes resting upon Kuon. If he was sick, the cigar would exacerbate his condition. Love for Kuon was more important than personal comfort. "What did the doctor say?"

Kuon felt that each time he had to say the words, the reality of his situation was proven. It was stupid that he had this type of understanding of his world. His illness would get no better or worse from how he was acting or what he said. Truth was that he was going to die. The best thing that he could do was to indulge in the remainder of his life. Kuon leaned forwards and stared at the president.

"I have a brain cancer," he said and saw the president's horrified expression. The words didn't seem real to him either. The brain was a delicate thing and ones brain was supposed to serve them for life. Many people took their brains for granted as they drank, smoke, and shot drugs into their blood stream. Kuon had taken his brain for granted as well. It was the thing that brought him his abilities and intelligence but in those same moments, it was just there as he had always expected it would be, as anyone would expect the same thing from their own body.

"What are your treatment plans?" the president asked and Kuon knew that the president saw him as family. It was just like when he was telling this to his father, the loss and the fear of loss were the main emotions.

"Surgery, there are others as well, or I could just let it happen," Kuon told him.

He could just let it happen. Nobody would blame him if he threw up his hands and walked away from the situation. Many people decided to quit at much less. However, if Kuon were to quit, it was as if he were tightening the noose before a hanging. Losing hope when hope was the thing that would keep him alive until the very last possible moment.

"I'll have to withdraw from a number of contracts, I don't know what the repercussions of tho-"

"Don't worry about them," Lory said in a haunted voice and Kuon could tell that he was trying to let this news, that defied and fought against each of his expectations, sink in. Kuon felt guilty about the way that Lory was handling this but that wouldn't change the fact that he was going to die and that even if, even if he didn't die, he would become disabled.

In essence, he would stop being the person that Lory had invested in and tried to form from that street fighter who had hate towards the world and was suffering from the killing of his friend. Kuon would stop being Kuon.

Even that thought, the shattered mirror of identity, was haunting and nobody knew how to put together glass that sharp and yet that delicate. In one way or another, Kuon Hizuri's life was over.

 **End of Chapter Three**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

 **Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Two**

H-Nala, Kaname671


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Waiting outside the gate to pick someone up from the airport was usually such a happy time. There were families with children waiting anxiously for their parents, some of them were only a few years old. It made him remember a time much simpler than what he was going through. A time when a little three or four year old Kuon would excitedly wait for his hero, peering around other people in order to see him. Those types of things didn't happen so much anymore. That was one reason why the slowness and the stillness that encircled Kuon made it harder.

His father was coming to see him, perhaps for the very last time. His heart beat slowly as he considered the options. There were people talking about vacations. People celebrating the arrival of grandparents and other distant relatives. There were signs where the loved ones name was written carefully and lovingly by their husband or wife. There were people with flowers and gifts.

Kuon only had the flashes of camera men to keep him company. He had no idea what type of reaction he would receive from his father. His wise and loving father who continued to be, after so many years, Kuon's hero. It felt like an eternity to be standing there. Kuon's hand was gripping around his cell phone anxiously. The time would come. All the times would come and soon he would no longer be part of this world.

The world was dark and Kuon didn't exactly trust it but at least it was there, it existed, he could live in it. Soon there would be no world and he wasn't sure if he believed in an afterlife. The happiness seemed to fade as the passengers from the latest flight, that coming from LAX, emerged and Kuon could hear the clicking of cameras, people calling out his name, a news crew when they had learned that Kuon had been meeting somebody here.

Still, Kuu remained neutral, his face was like stone not showing any emotion. He wasn't the happy and positive man that he had once been. Of course news like this changed a person entirely. Kuon stepped forward ready to meet with his father, ready to talk but it didn't seem as if Kuu could use words right now. As he turned to Kuon, the younger man could see the tears in his strong father's eyes.

Ignoring the gathered crowd, Kuu Hizuri stepped forwards with shaky footsteps and went to his son. He threw his arms around the younger man, embracing him silently. Kuon closed his eyes allowing the bear hug that he knew his father had longed to offer since he had heard the news. Once the hug had ended, Kuon reached forward to grab his father's suitcase but Kuu just placed a hand on Kuon's back, shaking his head.

Despite rolling a suitcase not being a difficult task, Kuu needed for his little boy to feel safe and cared for. He needed to protect Kuon. "Let's get you back home," Kuu replied his voice showing the deep sadness that was preparation for the years to come.

Although, it was true, nothing could ever prepare you for the loss of your own child.

 **End of Chapter Four**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Three

H-Nala, Kaname671


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Kuon stared at a website that was a fanpage to him. It really meant that you had achieved something important in your life to have so many fans. They said that a picture was worth a thousand words but in the grand scheme of life, some of these pictures said nothing. He was here but here wasn't where he had his heart. That was not to say that he wasn't passionate about acting. One could only achieve his acting level if one was passionate about it. No. Instead of that happening, this was a skill, precision, accuracy. It was a test.

It was only when he had met Kyoko at LME that he had learned to overcome those ties that truly bound someone to life. Life was made out of its own heavy cuffs, its chains and weights and the inabilities suffered by people. One could try to work their way out of the darkness but it was a psychological process. To be free from life's burdens, one only had to wish themselves free. Still, people couldn't do that. That was the point of religion, wasn't it? You had a servitude to a higher power. You were meant to be humble and to toil your days in order to show your worth. Worth was always the same throughout life but seen through different perspectives.

This. This was not what his worth had been built of. Maybe his acting was what he would be remembered for but it wasn't what made him complete or gave his existence value. He had robbed himself of the true value that might come with life. He had spent years trying to build a career and those sacrifices of the good relationship with his parents had been risked. It was what Kyoko thought of him. What Yashiro would say about him after his death to those he worked with in the future. Whether the president would keep anything of sentimentality when it came to his death. How often his parents would think of him. How often his mother would cry over him. Whether his dad would continue to have pride in him as a person and not as an actor.

This fanpage was celebrating his work as an individual. It was the surface and what he had done, not how he had been.

Nearly everyone in the world was able to do something, they were able to act with free will, they were able to make achievements and take steps to self-improvement. Wasn't that why parents made books documenting what the first steps were? First words?

When he was gone, this page would have as much meaning as what he had eaten for breakfast for the very last time. This wasn't self-preservation. You couldn't have preservation of the soul if all you considered was what you had done physically. It was the memory that people kept of you. Would his parents remember the last words he said to them as well as the first. Would Kyoko remember the shape of his lips? The passion within his kiss? How his hand would push her hair behind her ears.

That was what was important.

This fanpage was nothing compared to those.

 **End of Chapter Five**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Four

Kaname671


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